The Testosterone Testimonials were designed as a cultural investment in our community. The producer, David Christal, wants to expand and encompass a greater understanding of men. "The Testosterone Testimonials are a provocative, exciting and original production that will make you rethink what it is to be born male in our society," Christal said. "The idea is to take 'the measure of a man' through the eyes of men from diverse backgrounds, cultures and ages."
Abdullah Muharram was born in 1945 in Virginia.
"I spent my childhood and early teens growing up during the
‘50s, a time in America when the South was legally segregated. I spent most of my
life in Buffalo and the Bronx in N.Y.C. While these neighborhoods were
integrated, racism still existed. This was one of the first things I realized
while still a boy. This was the era of the civil rights movement and many white
people stood side-by-side with African Americans, Negroes or colored people,
as we were called back then, in the fight for racial equality. It’s clear no matter
what a person’s race, when they stand up for what is morally and ethically
right, it’s also clear what a white supremacist stands for. At least you know!
Ethnically, I am African American, Irish, and Cherokee. I have
great respect, honor, and love for my Irish grandfather and I’m proud of my
Irish and Cherokee heritage. But, I’m not going to tell anyone that I’m an
Irishman or that I’m a member of the Cherokee Nation. A lot of young people
today, when asked about race will say, “I’m multi-ethnic,” or if their father
is white, will claim their father’s ethnic heritage, and there’s absolutely
nothing wrong with that. They have the right! I happened to be born at a time
when, if you had any trace of African blood, you were considered black! So, I
have always considered myself to be a black man, and proud of it!
I have been outraged when people I thought were cool made
racist remarks in my presence, thinking I was Hispanic or white. The last time
something like this happened was right here in Santa Fe. I know racism is still
a sensitive subject in America, and most people would rather not deal with it.
But, after 400 years of it, there is a need for honest dialogue so that the
country can begin to heal. And, in spite of the things that are wrong with our
country, I believe America still has the potential to be the greatest nation
that ever existed!
The single event that affected my life, more than anything
else, would be Vietnam! At 20 years old, my induction notice arrived from Uncle
Sam. So, I decided I would join the military, rather than be drafted. I decided
to become what I thought being a real soldier meant. I would be a rifleman in
the infantry, a paratrooper, and a ranger. All these things I did become. I
think most people who served would agree that once basic training and advanced
training are over and you arrive at your duty station, the military is a fairly
easy gig
as long as orders and the chain of command are followed. Everyone lives in a
little city, with no unemployment. Being in the infantry, my job was about
playing war games. At 21, bivouacking in the woods of North Carolina, training
in the hills of Georgia and the swamps of Florida, and jumping out of airplanes
was fun! But the fun wouldn’t last long!
There was a war going on in Vietnam and a lot of airborne
infantrymen were dying. They had to be replaced! I arrived in the country on
June 5th, 1967, serving with the 100 First Airborne Division, First Brigade,
Second Battalion, 502nd Infantry. I stayed at base camp for orientation 5 days,
was then put on a chopper and taken to my unit that was on a search and destroy
mission. I never saw Division Headquarters again. From the day I jumped off
that helicopter and joined my unit in the field, it was one search and destroy
mission after another. There was only a 2 or 3-day stand down in between.
When I was in Vietnam, I never thought I would die there although
every operation people were always wounded, people always died. But, I never
thought it would be me. Obviously, I didn’t die, but on November 6, 1967, I was
wounded in combat. Still, it was hard to believe that rounds from an automatic
weapon had ripped my calf apart. The end result: an above the knee amputation
to stop the spread of gangrene infection.
So, at 22, I’m thinking life is over! How am I going to
work? What are women going to think of me? The only one-leg men I had ever seen
were sitting in wheel chairs with a tin cup, begging for change. Fortunately,
it didn’t take me long to understand there was nothing wrong with my brain. I
still had the capacity to learn and do most of the things I wanted. The thing
that was far more destructive was the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, the
nightmares, anxiety, depression, and bad memories. The VA was not providing any
medication that worked. So, I started self-medicating with heroin. It seemed to
be the only thing that worked. For the next 25 years, I battled that white
powder mountain. I’ll leave it at that! There’s no need for the horror stories.
But, it wasn’t all bad. I had a loving and supportive family through it all. I
also helped raise three wonderful daughters.
There’s something extremely important that I haven’t talked
about, and that would be music. Since the age of 12, to this day, music has
lifted my spirit and brought joy to my heart. For me, it’s never been about
money or fame. Whether I’m listening, practicing or playing, music always
brings a certain amount of joy and peace. The spirituality of music has been
with me in my darkest hours and helped me through my hardest times.
I moved to Santa Fe in September, 1997,
to study Chinese
medicine. That didn’t
quite work out. I also remarried and
divorced. But, my
ex-wife is my
best friend and the most reliable,
responsible person I know.
A few years ago, I was diagnosed
with prostate cancer.
The
surgery was successful and I am blessed to say I’m doing well.
So, I’ve dodged
a lot of bullets and survived many things.
But life is not just about being a
survivor. I’ve had plenty of excitement, fun, joy, and love in my lifetime.
After all these years, I still have hope, belief, and faith in humanity."
Abdullah"s role models are: Malcolm X, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther Kind, Jr., John Coltrane and Thurgood Marshall. He was a member of the Creative Improvisational Ensemble, Al-Mujazzah, which played periodically from the mid-60s through the late 80s. The group worked clubs, colleges and universities throughout Ontario, Canada, Ohio, Pennsylvania and New York state.
He also worked as a jazz announcer, concert promoter and assistant director for jazz programming for a the public radio station, WBFO-FM in Buffalo, NY. He has also written articles for the syndicated music publication, Buffalo Jazz Report.
He studied music at Villa Maria College and the State University of New York at Buffalo. He occasionally worked as a jazz announcer for KSFR-FM in Santa Fe, NM and has performed in Albuquerque.
